'He doesn't even follow my insta': Food influencer invites friend to restaurant opening, killjoy boyfriend protests she is excluding him

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 26, 2024 4:00 PM EST

I'm no expert in romantic relationships, but I feel like a pretty important part of them is tolerance. I don't mean this in the sense of putting up with bad behavior, but rather that it is vital to show support and appreciation for a partner's interests (so long as they aren't negatively impacting you). Sure, this can be a compromise when you couldn't care less about their niche hobby or pastime otherwise. If you really love someone, though, shouldn't the greatest reward of all be seeing them happy? 

Apparently not, according to one dispiriting AITA in which a woman talks about her boyfriend's reluctance to support her side hustle of food influencing. Claiming that her partner thinks her hobby is "annoying and cringe", she decided to take a fellow Instagram influencer friend along to a restaurant opening where they would receive a free meal. Upon hearing the news, her boyfriend complained about not being invited instead.

Asking if she had been unfair, Redditors were quick to reassure her that she had made a quick decision. Contempt is often the death knell for romance. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Chelsea Cheesy • 2d AITA for not sharing a free meal with my anti-Instagram boyfriend? Not the A-hole
    via ChelseaCheesy
  • 02
    I post my food pics from when I go out to eat on Instagram. It's just for fun, I spend like 30 minutes a week on it, tops. My boyfriend is a very sweet guy in many ways, but one thing that I'm not so much a fan of is that he often hops on the bandwagon of hating on innocent things. Not just not liking something, but making sure everyone knows he doesn't like it even if nobody asked. I can't help but notice a theme: Pumpkin spice lattes, pouty selfies, Taylor Swift, etc. As you can guess, he is n
    via ChelseaCheesy
  • 03
    Even though I don't have very many followers, I have started getting occasional offers and invitations from restaurants in my city to try their food for free in exchange for a review. Nothing crazy-no steak dinners so far-but I've gotten a few sandwiches and several baked goods.
    via ChelseaCheesy
  • 04
    Well, I just hit the big leagues and got invited to a new restaurant opening that includes a free appetizer and entree for me and one guest. I immediately invited one of my Instagram friends who I have gone out to eat with on several occasions and who also enjoys taking food photos. I told my boyfriend and he's I that I'm not taking him and says I'm doing it out of spite-I really think I'm not? If the restaurant is giving me free food in exchange for a post, I'm gonna put more effort into the po
    via ChelseaCheesy
  • 05
    Choice Mongoose2427 2d Aficionado [13] Your gut feeling about this is absolutely correct. You're there to do a job essentially and his bad attitude would be a hindrance to you getting it done right. NTA. I want to also gently point out, as a married woman of 21 years, that for a relationship to work and be healthy and happy, your partner needs to be supportive of the things you're excited about. They don't have to be interested themselves, but they do need to encourage and lift you up. Your boyf
    via Choice_Mongoose2427
  • 06
    A person's character is their playbook. It dictates every move we make and defines who we are. The person you're describing takes joy in robbing other people of theirs. You're not the only person he does this to, as you've said. He is also someone who feels entitled to the spoils of other people's successes after putting a lot of energy into knocking them down a peg with his disparagement. This is his character. I hope you see that. This isn't the behavior of a sweet guy. It's mean spirited, pet
    via Choice_Mongoose4247
  • 07
    aniyabel 2d Yes this. I'm a Disney Adult, and I am sure my husband thinks I'm a little extra but he never once has been anything but supportive.
    via aniyabel
  • 08
    adventuresof Violet 2d Certified Proctologist [20] NTA, your boyfriend sounds rather exhausting with his I'm cooler than everybody because I hate popular things attitude. Go and have fun with someone who isn't a sourpuss. Enjoy your dinner!
    via adventuresofViolet
  • 09
    Turbulent Bus6256 2d Also the list of popular things he shows contempt for (pumpkin spice lattes, a selfie pose, and Instagram food pics) are mostly associated with women. The whole trend of mocking popular female interests needs to die.
    via Turbulent_Bus6256
  • 10
    NaturalForty 2d Aficionado [10] INFO: If you told your bf that he could come as long as he was respectful of the work you're doing to pay for his meal, what do you think would happen? : Reply 731 Chelsea Cheesy OP • 2d I'm not sure, but even if he was I would still rather invite my friend for this particular meal just because it's related to our shared interest.
    via NaturalForty
  • 11
    ΝΤΑ Location Academic1731 2d flag. Not because he doesn't like something, it means he has to give you a hard time about it. There are plenty of things I like and my spouse doesn't - inverse applies too - and we just let the other one do what makes them happy. I am concerned this is just the tip of the iceberg. Take your friend and have a great time! You didn't do anything wrong.
    via LocationAcedemic1731
  • 12
    ΝΤΑ TheHobbyWaitress 2d Aficionado [16] The restaurant is doing you a favor with the invite. So, you're doing them a favor by bringing another IG foodie. Maybe he should stop rolling his eyes at your hobby.
    via TheHobbyWaitress
  • 13
    SOAD_Lover69 2d So NOW he wants to benefit from your hobby? him. Btw hell probably see this post as it 100% sounds like he's a redditor based on his mindless hate for harmless things many women enjoy.
    via SOAD_Lover69
  • 14
    pedestrianwanderlust 2d NTA. Good decision taking a colleague who appreciates the opportunity. It's astute you notice his lack of support and act accordingly. Any partner that thinks your work, hobby or passion is disdainful or dumb is a red flag. It shows a lack of respect for you. It is possible he doesn't understand it and just needs converted but given that he is proud of his negative view on many things to all people, I suspect he's not teachable. So no he doesn't get to benefit from the pe
    via pedestrianwonderlust
  • 15
    seventhevan 2d NTA, and your boyfriend sounds like a misogynist. Not a coincidence that everything he dislikes is things generally liked by women
    via seventhevan
  • 16
    unrepentantbanshee 2d "he often hops on the bandwagon of hating on innocent things [...] I can't help but notice a theme: Pumpkin spice lattes, pouty selfies, Taylor Swift, etc." Your boyfriend doesn't like women. If he was an all-around buzzkill who can't let people enjoy things when it doesn't affect him, that'd be bad. enough - but you said it yourself, there's a theme in his disgust and it's "things we consider feminine interests". He looks down on things that women like and mocks them.
    via unrepentantbanshee
  • 17
    Existing_Fox_6317 2d Partassipant [3] NTA. I guess I am like your bf in my relationship in that my partner posts everything on social media, while I'm more private and have no interest in all of his friends having a play-by-play of our lives. I worry that it's not good for his mental health and also consider it a huge waste of time. But guess what? He enjoys it and I love him so I deal with it. I have a few guidelines that he agrees to respect, like not posting about me or pics of me without my
    via Existing_Fox_6317
  • 18
    NaturalForty 2d Aficionado [10] NTA. Even if you flat out said, "I'm teaching him a lesson," I'd say NTA. If he had the sense to apologize about undermining you all this time, that might be different. I'm especially unimpressed that your bf only mocks women, and doesn't make fun of any trends that men are into. Also your meal is not free. It's a barter payment for work you're doing, and the dinner is a gig (a fun one, but still). It's appropriate to bring someone who can act professionally with
    via NaturalForty
  • 19
    EstherandThyme 2d Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] NTA. You're gonna inevitably get a bunch of mysgynistic comments from people who presume to know everything about the kind of person you are just because you have a food instagram, so brace for that. But you're right-he doesn't get to whine and complain about your food pics and then turn around and expect to be taken along to an event that is all about taking food pics. What kind of sense does that make? It'll be more fun to go with your friend since yo
    via EstherandThyme
  • 20
    Striking_Fondant4065 2d To add- this is a business proposition. You are being comped for providing a service, and you are expected to provide that service. Kudos to you for thinking strategically and also including someone who will also promo the food and establishment. What if he hated your full-time job? Would you bring him to company events knowing he would disparage the work you and your colleagues care about. Of course not. Local businesses need all the help they can get. Kudos to you for t
    via Striking_Fondant4065
  • 21
    ChelseaCheesy OP • 2d He actually didn't go to the Christmas party at my work because he didn't think he would fit in with "the suits" I wfh so I didn't even know anybody there either, I just ate all the free food and then left.
    via ChelseaCheesy

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boyfriend aita photography instagram friends relationships influencer restaurant girlfriend food eating Reddit free hobby
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